EDNAPPED
by Amaterasu Kinesi
Summary: Nope, I can't, I can't freak the freak out. At least, that's what I keep telling myself… It doesn't matter that I can't believe that these two idiots, my brother and best friend, since drooling-and-dipper days, actually kidnapped me! And I do mean the actual criminal act, the one that falls under the definition of taking (someone) away illegally by force.
1. EDNAPPED Part I

**EDNAPPED**

_[Part, I]_

…

–The Unsuspecting, keys in hand leaving for the day–

–Unexpected sound of quick, pattering feet approaching from behind–

–Too late, keys are dropped in surprise–

–The Unsuspecting, slammed against the door–

–A frantic struggle for survival: shoving, fighting, punching, and bruising–

–The Unsuspecting surrenders, all fight gone–

–Scrapping, the sound of keys rattling as someone picks them up–

–A moment of deliberating silence, then everything is in rapid motion again–

–Voices argue, The Unsuspecting is heaved and moved–

–Grunts and heaves, quick footsteps, car doors swing open–

–The Unsuspecting is thrown inside and falls, making contact–

–A quiet but heated argument, and then the hushed sound of fabric–

–The Unsuspecting is blinded, not bound, The Unsuspecting notices–

–A door closes, feet shuffle, and then, two more close–

–Silence, but for three ragged breaths–

–Keys chime and rattle, an engine revs to life–

–The Unsuspecting's heart, thudding a staccato rhyme, its marcato bruising against the chest–

–As the car's engine roars maniacally... almost mockingly –

–The sound of gravel flying, and tires screeching, car soaring forward–

–Breaks squeal in sudden protest, like banshees–

–Tires squelch over gravel, stuttering to a halt –

–Again, the car soars, flying and gliding over asphalt, and away–

–Nervous laughter fills the cab as congratulations are exchanged–

–The Unsuspecting feels defeated–

* * *

…

* * *

_**The Unsuspecting Mind…**_

_Red Alert!_

_Shoot, shoot, shoot…!_

_(Insert desired stream of expletives, I've got plenty crossing and fluttering through my mind.)_

_Forget that, Mauve Alert!_

_What the hell just happened?_

_(SOS? Ring all the alerts for all I care! I just need HELP!)_

_Will someone just tell me, what the hell is going on?!_

_Where's my phone?_

…

* * *

_**Edward's POV**_

…

Nope, I can't, I can't freak the freak out. At least, that's what I keep telling myself… It doesn't matter that I can't believe that these two idiots, my brother and best friend, since drooling-and-dipper days, actually _kidnapped_ me! And I do mean the _actual_ criminal act, the one that falls under the definition of taking (someone) away illegally by force and the jurisdiction of the law. I've been _Ednapped_!

Let me make something clear here, a side note of sorts, I'm a man, through and through, and there's no questions about it. However, even though I actually don't like freaking out, which means I'm not usually this much of a sissy, there are times in which I _do _freak out and usually, the occasion calls for it. That being said: damn, if this isn't the right time to freak the hell out, I don't know _when_ it is!

I've been _Ednapped_, I tell you!

Do you know what the worse part is in all this? I have not the slightest idea as to _where _they are taking me –which is usually the case with kidnapped victims that aren't kidnapped by their next of kin and/or best friends. However, in most of those cases, someone is usually bound and gagged in the trunk of an inconspicuous car in a drugged infused stupor. But, thankfully, which is about the only thing I am thankful for at the moment, I haven't been thrown in the trunk.

Nope, these two idiots have been kind enough to just throw me in the back of the car, rather unceremoniously, I may add. _How or why is that, you ask?_ Well, let me enlighten you for a bit. Did I already mention that my brother's an idiot and that my best friend is a back-stabbing-douche-bag?

Well, now I did (I feel _slightly_ better saying that) and they are. And you can trust me on this, because at this very moment, thanks to the both of them, I have a blackout bag over my head and I have no idea how to take it off, despite the fact that my hands aren't bound. Blackout bags, I've learned, work better than a blindfold. I can't see _squat_.

You'd think, that after twenty-three years of knowing these two, I'd be used to their ridiculous antics and things like these happening, but the truth is that, no–I'm not. It's as simple as that. No one should have to 'be used to' these two, regardless of however much time they've spent with them, and I'm no exception. They are just too outrageous!

_No matter._ (Sigh.) On to more _pressing _matters…

Unexpectedly, I perk up and tense, listening intently for what I _feel_ happening around me. It seems that the car –_my _car, actually– is slowing down to a suave stop. _Hmm… _Honestly, I'd given up interrogating my brother and best friend for information long ago.

Happened somewhere between the 5th times asking, "_Where the Hell are you two idiots taking me!_" Considering my unfortunate predicament, I believe I was being rather 'polite' and rational… Or maybe, it happened sometime after the 20th time of whining, "_Where the Hell are we going? Talk to me, dammit!_"

Now, I was pass pleasantries and had upgraded my thin rational level of annoyed to angry, resulting in threats. "Tell me," I started demanding, "or so help me God, I'll–" Only to stop mid rant with a hissed "–Ow, that hurt you idiot!" escaping my lips in protest, followed by expletives that would put a sailor to shame and make them blush twenty shades of red.

All because, at that point, one of these two ingenious idiots had had enough and, apparently, thought it would be oh-so-funny to painfully pinch _and_ twist one of my nipples in petulant reciprocation. All the while, hysterically laughing their heads off and booming wantonly, like hooligans at my expense. Eventually, it dwindled to snickers that kept grating on my nerves…

My guess would be, they didn't realize that what they've actually committed, is a felony. The hypothesis behind my crude reasoning being, these two never thought anything through before they acted. Best example being, the time they decided it would be fun to play paintball without shirts on because we'd just gotten new clothes and our mother's would kill us if we so much as ruined our clothes –among other instances.

Worse mistake _ever_, next morning the two of them (myself included) were canvases composed of aching, breathing black and blues. They might be my best friend and my brother, my own flesh and blood, but they really aren't the brightest bulbs in the box.

Yes, they will _dearly _pay when the time came, I vowed myself. But for now, I'd content with putting into motion my 'obtaining-information-through-means-of-_persuasion_'plan.

"Where are we?" I ask quietly, keeping my voice as uninterested as possible, following with an obvious statement, "I know we've stopped." The idiots laugh. They _actually _laughed, again.

"How observant… Tsk, tsk, tsk," utters one of them, clicking his tongue.

The other taunts, "Eddie boy! Aren't we an impatient wittle imp?" _Definitely Emmett._

"Jasper!" I growl, growing impatient again, only to hear him laugh, again, and of course, soon after, Emmett joins him. I scowl. "I hate you," I mutter, with enough vitriol to burn a hole through my esophagus. Usually, Jasper tends to be the more rational of the two… not today, it seems.

"That really hurts, Eddie," Jasper says, actually sounding genuinely contrite and thankfully, I know better than to fall for it.

"Where are we?" I try again, wearily, all pretenses gone. This being blind thing is growing old, fast.

"Paradise, Ed, paradise," Emmett finally provides, sounding _way _too dreamy for my comfort and his sanity to be intact. Their doors swing open and I hear what sound like rushing water… curious.

I groan. The truth is, whatever this 'paradise' Emmett is talking about is, the mere fact that it is Emmett who sees it as paradise in accordance to his standards, is warning enough to warrant that I will most probably consider wherever this is, Hell on earth. Meaning, wherever we are will, most probably, be crawling with prowling, anorexic chicks with no substance for brains ready to throw themselves at my feet, and I mean this _literally_.

"That's right, Edward, we are about to enter _paradise_," Jasper echoes a moment later, in that same dream-like voice. Now _that_ is strange. I frown, beginning to ascend a new edge of worried so soon after acclimating to the last one cannot be healthy. I could just tell that he was nodding and staring into the distance in that same dreamy state associated with awe, eyes glazed over, and a goofy smile smearing his usually lazed lips.

Jasper is never one to get like this, not even as a joke. And _that's _what worries me. On the other hand, that kind of thing is Emmett's specialty; we usually leave that kind of stuff to him. Emmett –_Wait a second…_ _Emmett_, he actually sounded like he was being serious for once, just a second ago. When he mentioned this was _Paradise_ –whatever that means.

Is there something I'm missing? _Hello! You have a blackout bag over your head? Oh, yeah… Kind of forgot about that, somehow, anyway…_

"Out you go, Eddie, ma' boy!" Emmett announces jovially, making me jump in surprise as he grunts, opens my door, and makes a grab for me –attempting to jostle me out of the car awkwardly. Despite the fact that I am blind and what not, I try to scurry away from Emmett by wriggling myself onto what I hope will be the other _extreme_ end of the backseat.

They must have predicted I would be difficult, I guess, because just when I was sure I was about to succeed in my escaping attempt, Jasper was right there and ready to haul me out of the car by my collar. In a panic, I start acting on my last result tactic: try and stay inside, no matter what.

"You're going to end up breaking your ankle like that, Ed," Jasper admonishes. For some reason, his voice sounds weary and careless, giving me pause. By now, he's used to all my fussing, I'm sure, but for some reason, I detect a hint of hopeful musing in his undertone there.

This realization, more than anything, should really worry me but at this point, I am way past worried and straight into taking the highroad toward ballistic. Therefore, I continue to struggle to stay inside, stubborn as ever. _They are so going to have it,_ I vow_,_ _as soon as I figure out how to disentangle myself from this unfortunate predicament._

"If it'll get me out of this," I hiss innocently, a seemingly innocent challenge.

"Now, Ed, that would _break _your dear brother's heart," chastises Emmett and I almost gag at the endearing tone he uses.

"Maybe that'll help…" I mutter, just under my breath.

"What was that?" Emmett asks endearingly. As he speaks, I can tell that he is grinning and I want nothing more than to have my sight back, so I can have the opportunity to smack him, and also, hit him where it hurts.

"Nothing," I cover, the word dark on my tongue.

You know, the weird thing about my brother is that everyone around him thinks that he's dumb when really, the people that really know him, like Jasper, our parents, and myself, know that those that underestimate him are the dumb ones. Don't let the façade of goofiness and his dimpled smile fool you. Just because Emmett takes it upon himself to be the comic relief, it doesn't mean that he has no brains beyond all that and isn't plotting away. Truthfully, sometimes, I find myself thinking that he might be the smartest of us all.

"Common, Ed, they'll start without us," Jasper says, his tone slightly pleading and bordering on impatient. Because I realize I'm getting under his skin, I grin evilly –wait, _they_? "I strongly suggest you wipe that smirk off your face," not that he can see it, he just senses it, "it won't last that long anyway." This last bit, Jasper seems to add as an afterthought, like the idea just came to him and he just _happened _to indulge it, a very dark afterthought.

That one threat, uttered with a calm only seen before a storm, gives me absolute pause. Throughout my years of getting to know the enigmatic Jasper, I've learned that one should never, and I mean _never_,aggravate the usually passive Jasper Whitlock –he could be heartless sometimes, in ways that could make grown men want to sleep with an eye open at night. Just as a precaution.

For now, because I need the use of both of my feet to be in top working conditions, if I want to find an opening and run for my life, I give up on my fight and allow Jasper to pull me out of my backseat without further struggle. Besides, Jasper's threatening methods are quite effective in giving anyone like myself pause. "Let's go then, so we can get whatever this is over with," I sigh reluctantly, resigned.

"That's more like it!" Emmett bustles with approval.

"Shut up Emmett," I jeer. The ground under my feet feels unsteady, so I can only assume I'm standing on some kind of cobbled place.

"Do you have to be so mean to your older bro?" he retorts, sounding like he might be pouting.

"Seriously, if you two keep smirking like that, the corners of your mouths are gonna rip and you guys are gonna end up looking like the Joker."

That little comment earns me a smack to either side of my head from the both of them. Stumbling a little, I laugh but they catch me. Again, I frown. The wind is blowing gentle and cool, splattering tiny water droplets our way, and making me shiver the moment they touch my skin, since my other senses are on high alert.

Honestly, I don't know how these two do it but somehow, they always find a way to get me to agree (after I put on a show of reluctance and struggle, of course) with whatever new something they want me to try out. This is always, I even would wager a bet that, if they wanted to, they could get me to murder someone and I'd be none the wiser, going right along with it.

"We need to get a move on," Jasper interrupts before I can say anything else to Emmett. "I don't think we should keep them waiting on us."

_THEM?_ I wonder, feeling my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline under my blackout bag. That's the second time 'they' has been mentioned.

"I think you're right," Emmett agrees, sounding as nervous as Jasper.

"So, is either one of you geniuses going to take this thing off my face, or what?" I ask, since my inability to see is really beginning to annoy me. "I mean, let's be reasonable, I've already agreed to this madness…" _Barely. _

And then– I can see! …Well, I can see spots in my eyes, because it's so freaking _bright_! Blinking rapidly in an attempt to exhaust the multicolored spots that appear and fade against my eyelids, I rub the backs of my hands against my eyes as Jasper closes my door. As soon as my vision clears, I see that I was right; I am standing on a coble-stoned surface.

Taking in my surroundings slowly, I turn full circle. The first thing I process is that we are parked on a full circle parkway with a fountain at its center that is about a yard wide and a sculpture of a woman and a man, forever captured in a passionate embrace as they shared a kiss while holding an umbrella aloft, the point from which the water continues trickling and cascading.

Then, a few yards to our left, I spy what looks like parquet flooring, facing a beautiful, silver lake with swans swimming and making ripples on the surface of the otherwise peaceful lake. Also, I notice that there are lights coming out of the cobbled parkway, the reason why it is so bright despite the fact that it is a very dark night. The effect on the rest of the grounds is magnificent.

The second thing I notice is that this must be a private property. Not only because more than a mile away, at the end of a decadent driveway adorned with two-dozen trees reaching inwardly on either side and forming a natural archway, there's a _huge _wroughtiron gate closing us in and keeping interlopers out that clued me in, but because I realized that we are at a freaking, beautiful _MANSION_. Or estate, what do I know? Thing is, not that I'm trying to judge, but whoever lives here, probably thinks I'm –we– are beneath them.

As soon as all these registers, I feel like I've fallen down a rabbit hole and entered a new world and dimension all together. Actually, I'm pretty sure that the four cobblestones I'm currently standing on are more expensive than whatever money I make in a year. (Even if I'm exaggerating, I know I can't afford to so much as chip the ground I'm standing on, neither of us can.) At this point, I feel my knees give a little and in my effort to keep standing, they turn wobbly…

"Where are we…?" I whisper and my voice quivers.

In answer, Jasper and Emmett smirk at me and–

"There you guys are!" a voice exclaims from the entryway.

Turning toward the sound of the voice, I see a tiny little girl walking over the threshold of the massive double doors dominating the entrance (aside from the four giant pillars) and making her way toward us with a spring in her steps. Her steps are quick, precise, and noiseless as she bounds down the three steps that separates the cobblestones from the marble of the entrance, and as she gets closer I see that she isn't a 'kid' at all but a woman that makes Jasper very nervous and in very high heels the color of puce.

"That's her…" Jasper breathes out the corner of his mouth and offers the incoming petite woman an uncertain smile. Just that smile tells me that Jasper isn't in his element and instantly, I'm very curious as to what kind of person she might be. No one, and I do mean no _one_, has ever made Jasper feel out of his element in the twenty-three years I've known him.

"You guys are late!" she accuses good-naturedly and pouts (I think Jasper stops breathing), saying, "We almost thought you guys weren't showing up…"

"Who exactly is she," I want to ask, however, before I can ask, Jasper is speaking again and directing his words to the petite woman who has a wide and beautiful smile that makes her electric blue eyes crinkle at the corners pleasantly the moment she comes to a halt right before us. She is short and her hair is just as short, ebony and falling just over the lobe of her ears and she is stunning. Can't blame Jasper for checking her out, I suppose.

"Alice…" (SO that's her name!) "Sorry we're late," he apologizes, sounding breathless, "we had to pick up my best friend from work."

I snort, "Sure blame it on me, I'm the vic–"

"I hope we're not _too _late," Emmett prompts, cutting me off. I glare at him but he's not looking at me, his attention is on a new person that's stepping through those imposing and intimidating doors. However, I can tell, even before she approaches, that this girl is _all_ woman, tall, and also wearing dangerously high heels.

"Not at all!" Alice beams, her sage eyes of electric blue solely focusing on Jasper after giving me the onceover and Jasper's face lights up from inside. Embarrassed by this abnormal display of his, I look away… "Did you guys find the place alright?" she asks kindly, lightly touching her fingertips over Jasper's bare forearms –I notice out of the corner of my eye.

"Yeah… it's impossible to miss," Jasper affirms, clearing his throat like he can't think or speak coherently and looking anywhere but at Alice, as if to point out the size of the place. Alice chuckled, her voice like crystal bells –musical. Significantly, Jasper relaxed and glanced at Alice again, focusing on her left shoulder. "This is Edward, my friend," he adds, lamely introducing me.

"So this is the infamous Edward," Alice says, assessing me from my copperhead mayhem to faded grey chucks-covered toes critically and taking me all in, making a mental inventory of my qualifying attributes. Suddenly, I feel very nervous and my mind is going in spirals, trying o come up with things Jasper or Emmett might have told Alice about me. However, my mind draws a blank as Alice opens her ruby mouth again. "Your taste in clothes isn't fatal." (I think that might be a compliment. She _is _smiling. Still, I feel jittery and squirmy.)

"Err… thank you?" I offer uncertainly and Jasper chuckles fondly, shuffling in place and running his fingers lazily through his flaxen, nape-length curls self-consciously. Looking at her properly, I notice that she is impeccably dressed. _No wonder she's talking about my clothes first thing. _But somehow, she doesn't seem like a high-maintenance type of girl, despite her obviously expensive taste in clothes.

"My highest compliment," she adds, nodding sagely, offering her hand for me to shake. "I'm Alice, by the way."

"Pleasure," I say and we shake on it.

"I see you boys finally made it," a sultry voice says and I look up and blink.

"I was wondering if you'd come out," Alice says to the woman as she glanced at her over her shoulder, her voice tilting teasingly.

The woman standing just behind Alice is tall, blonde, curvy in all the right places, and breathlessly beautiful and Emmett is completely infatuated by her, and she also seems infatuated by him, judging by the way she's looking at Emmett through her hazel-amber.

"Hey Rosalie," Emmett greets, sounding subdued. Something new for Emmett to be, and in my extensive experience as his brother, I have never seen him act this way.

Rosalie's answering cherub smile was something that was intended to stop his heart and make any man falter in his steps. Emmett swallowed visibly. "Good to see you again, Emmett." Emmett's name is like a gentle caress on Rosalie's tongue that sends a shiver fluttering along the length of his spine.

"What do you think, Rose?" Alice asks, her hands fluttering delicately in my general direction. Rosalie's eyes land on me then and she smiles winningly as she does an assessing onceover, and like Alice's had been, her gaze is critical and calculating –inspecting every crease and line on my outfit.

(At least, that's how it felt. Therefore, I had no other choice than to pull my shoulders back, puff out my chest a little, and stand taller, just in case. 'Cause I was about ready to squirm where I stood.) Once her assessing was over, she nods and says with approval, "You must be Emmett's little brother?"

"Edward," I almost squeak, but cleared my throat so my voice came out a little hoarse. Who where this beautiful women and where the hell had they met this two idiots?

"Pleasure," Rosalie said, sidestepping Alice, who looked thoroughly amused, and bounding up to me, kissed my cheek. Silently, I gasped and heard Emmett mumble something incoherent behind me as my blood rushed in my auditory nerves. "You'll do."

_I'll do? _What does _that _mean? "Uh-huh," I gulp dumbly.

"That's what I thought," Alice beams.

Glancing at Alice, Rosalie gives her a wink and offers each of us a cat-that-ate-the-canary kind of smile. "What are we waiting for?" And with that, she turns and sways her way back up the three steps, by the four pillars, and through the imposing door while three pairs of eyes stared after her in rapture –I think Emmett might have drooled a bit, though. (He was kind of wiping the corners of his mouth when I glanced at him to silently ask if this was for real, or were we all dreaming the same thing. Emmett being Emmett, just shrugged in answer and Jasper, well, he was indisposed and totally smitten with Alice.)

"That's her way of saying we've been out here long enough." Alice prompts, "We should head back inside." Smiling and looking appreciatively between Jasper, Emmett, and I one last time, Alice turns on her four-inch heals and glances over her shoulder at us, crooning her index finger at us to follow. "Common boys… ladies shouldn't be kept waiting."

Jasper and Emmett flank me and the three of us squirm, while I feel like I have my heart in my throat and uncomfortably pressing against my Adam's apple, and watch Alice swaying ahead.

"Where the Hell have you two brou–"

"_Paradise_," Emmett and Jasper answer simultaneously before I can finish my sentence, each placing an arm over my shoulders and propelling us forward, and following after Alice and Rosalie.

"Paradise," I say dubiously, though I'm starting to believe it might be just that…

* * *

…

…

* * *

_**A/N: **__Greetings, avid readers! Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Just wanted to take a brief moment to inform you guys that this is going to be a short story composed of Two Parts. (I have been meaning to post this for a while now and today, I finally decided to do so.) If the response is good for this story, I'll be uploading the second part at the end of the week. Let me know what you guys think of the story by **Review or PM**! _


	2. EDNAPPED Part, II

_**A/N: **__For those of you who read this story when I uploaded it for the first time, I went back and made a few changes toward the last part. Make sure to check that out!_

* * *

**_…_**

**_…_**

* * *

**EDNAPPED**

_[Part, II]_

…

Just when I was looking around surreptitiously for alternate escape routs and maybe a getaway car, we'd barely walked five steps forward, when Emmett and Jasper decided to draw me to a halt. Stopping, I look at them questioningly and try to rule in my irritation as they smile condescendingly at me.

"What–" I start to ask but stop when Emmett inversely holds on to my forearms while Jasper sneers and hoists the blackout bag over my head again. "Is this really necessary?" I ask indignantly. "I already agreed to this madness," I remind them.

"That you did," Emmett agrees.

"Then take this thing off."

"Sorry, lil' bro, but you'll have to keep that on, until we get you inside."

"Yeah," Jasper interjects, "for all we know, you could make a run for it and ruin our fun." And doesn't he know it, I think sardonically. "Sure, you said you'd go, however, I noticed you didn't _promise_."

Damn, he knew me too well. After all, they had learned this lesson from previous times. When it comes to running, I am the fastest of the three and I tend to take full advantage of this benefit. In fact, I took full advantage of it this one particular night that I've never forgotten and apparently, from the look and sound of things, neither had they. Hence, the mystery behind why they'd needed a blackout bag in the first place has been answered.

"Alright," I say submissively, I am tired and my will to fight was beginning to run low tonight.

"That so?" questions Jasper, obviously suspicious and with good reason, since he isn't one to hide what he feels. When Jasper is happy, angry, annoyed, tired, depressed or on the verge of mischief, anyone can pick up what his mood is and if you are close enough, be affected by it, while feeling whatever it is he is feeling at the moment.

Inwardly, though I'm sighing and nodding in response, I smirk. Letting me go, Emmett smacks me happily on the back –I mean, it can only be Emmett, since I almost doubled over with the force of it.

"Lookie here, Jasper, our Eddie boy, and my baby brother, is finally growing up!" Emmett booms, confirming my suspicions, and I can just picture him wiping away at joyful tears at the corners of his crinkling eyes –of the _fake _variety, of course.

"Apparently so, Emm," Jasper chuckles, still a little dubious, and we start walking again as if we were competing in a six legged race.

As we bound the three steps, I can hear the distinct noise of laughter and smell the delicious aroma of food, and for some strange and bizarre reason, my heart starts to beat in such a frantic way against my ribcage that I feel the skin over my pectoral bruising with each heartbeat. Though I don't understand this, I know that this strange feeling is a good one and yet, somehow painful, in such a way that I am sure to die either from a heart attack or a bursting heart. Feeling that neither of those options seemed neither appealing nor welcomed, I place a hand over my chest and clutch at my wrinkling shirt.

"Edward, what's wrong," asks Jasper worriedly and we momentarily stop walking, again. So he _had _noticed.

"What do you mean what's wrong?" Emmett asks gruffly.

"I–" I fumble for an explanation and answer truthfully, "I don't know… my heart hurts…" I grunt. "_Ow_!"

"Shi–" Emmett starts to curse, steadying me painfully by the shoulders as I stumble.

"Edward, God, if you're just playing around to get out of this, you should stop," warns Jasper, seriously beginning to grow concerned and places a hand on my shoulder, turning me toward him. "You are over doing it," he is frantic, "Edward –it looks too damned real for my liking, like you might be having a heart attack or something!"

Maybe I am, I think humorlessly as the blackout bag is removed from over my head and blinking at the suddenness, I stare straight at Jasper who is standing very still, staring at me, face pale, and holding the blackout bag. I grimace. Emmett moves from behind me and stands next to Jasper's left, looking peaky himself.

"I don't think my sense of humor is all that great, Jasper," I offer, my words strained since every breath I take pains me, "you know that."

If possible, Jasper's face grows even paler in parlor and Emmett looks like he might be on the verge of looking worried for a third time in his life. Honestly, I would be laughing right now at the sight of these two looking like this, but my chest is being hammered way too painfully to allow any humor to escape me.

"What are you two–" Emmett begins and glancing to stare at Jasper's very pale parlor, stops short, and glances back at me, still clutching at my heart. "Jasper…" he trails off, growing deathly pale, "tell me he's joking?" Emmett is pleading and looking desperate as he swallows thickly and demandingly asks, "Jasper, what's wrong with my little brother? What's wrong with Edward?"

"I– I– I, Emmett, Hell, I don't know…" Jasper replies lamely and I start chuckling like a madman, at which point they exchange very worried glances and run tremulous fingers through their disheveled hair.

"Is he like…" before continuing, Emmett swallows, "having a _heart attack _or something?" As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Emmett's eyes grow wide with bewilderment and he glances at Jasper to see that he is mirroring his sentiment. "He can't right?" Now it's Emmett, the one chuckling like a madman. "Tell me he can't, please."

"You think… maybe we should take him to the hospital?" Jasper suggest, his voice husky with trepidation and looking like he's about to barf.

Now that's my cue. Ignoring my aching heart, I try to stand as straight as the pain on my aching chest will allow and place an arm around Jasper's shoulders and then the other around Emmett's. (Though in a more awkward way, since he is several inches taller than Jasper and me.)

"I'm okay, really," I say, trying to sound convincing. "Actually, it's a good sort of pain…" Yup, they think I'm nuts now, since they look more horror struck by this admission and new piece of info.

"Okay, that's it," Emmett decides, "we are taking you to the hospital and that's that. We can do this another day."

So I was right, they do think I've gone over the deep end. Looking at Emmett's face, I know he is totally serious for once and Jasper agrees wholeheartedly, given that he is nodding his head so furiously with vigor. However, the sight of this is so comical in my mind that I want to laugh –and so, laugh I do. And I am laughing so hard that I'm even crying! Though I'm still clutching at my chest, every so often with each new punctuating jab of pain.

Needless to say, Jasper and Emmett are staring darts at me, still looking worried, though they too seem to lighten up at the sound of my laughter and the sigh of me, until they, too, join me in laughter as I clutch as my sides and holding on to each other to keep up standing, we start walking again.

Up close, these double doors are even more imposing than from afar. As the three of us reach the threshold, still chuckling, a girl with long mahogany hair zooms pass the doors, cursing under her breath, while Alice and Rose, clearly amused, laugh as they drag her out of sight before I can even get a look at her face. Apparently, I'm not the only one being forcefully dragged here by friends –instantly, I feel a sense of comradeship with the girl I have yet to meet.

Momentarily distracted, I abruptly stop laughing as my pectoral pain suddenly doubles in intensity and I quietly gasp, clutching at my chest. Once again, I wonder about where the Hell these two idiots have brought and whose mansion this might be. 'Cause this place couldn't belong to Alice and Rose, despite their obviously expensive taste in apparel. Or could it?

"Looks like somebody's been having fun," a cheerful voice says right from behind us, just when I was about to make an inquiry.

"Uh…" Turning, we come face to face with a beautiful woman of average height that must be in her mid forties with mahogany hair handsomely streaked with salt and pepper to her shoulders and a very kind, lighthearted motherly disposition. We are slightly speechless, you can say. "If you don't mind my asking," I begin, given that my brother and Jasper seem to have lost their ability to speak.

"My name is Renee," she greets before I can finish, however, and smiles winningly at the three of us as she appraises us with a twinkle in her almond brown eyes.

"Hello," the three of us greet, blushing slightly.

"Hmm…" she looks from Jasper to Emmett, brows furrowed. "You two must be Jasper and Emmett?" she confirms and blushing to their ears, Jasper and Emmett nod in answer. I gape, "I've heard so much about you two from Alice and Rose!" she excitedly divulges in a conspiratorial tone. Renee's eyes land on me next and she asks, "And who's your friend?"

After clearing his throat about three times, Emmett answers for me, since my tongue seems to be as dry as cotton and stuck to the roof of my mouth. "This is my little brother Edward," he says bashfully.

"Nice to meet you, Edward." Nodding, I fidget as Renee looks at me and her eyes begin to smile at me with some kind of secret. "That was my daughter being dragged away by her two best friends," she comments airily, and then winks at me, before adding, "and I think you two should meet."

"Right… sure," I mutter and smile, trying to sound agreeable. That's the last thing I need right now, to be paired up with a stranger _by_ a stranger.

"Well, you three go right ahead and go in," Renee offers, "while I go in and fetch my purse from the dining room before, God forbid, Alice catches me." Renee smiles and sighs, shaking her head. "I'm supposed to be gone…" she shrugs, looking exasperated, "but I can't be gone without my purse, or keys!"

"Well, um, alright– if you insist," says Jasper, glancing at the three of us for support. We nod.

"I do!" she chirps and then ushers us back, practically pushing us. "It's been a pleasure!"

With that, seeing as we are not being given any other alternative, we do an about-face and walk through the double doors. The moment we step through the threshold and into this ridiculously beautiful, circular foyer with a skylight above and a handsome chandelier at its center, with a marble staircase that leads to a second floor corridor, there is no question in my mind that we've entered an entirely different world.

Feeling my jaw unhinge and mouth hang open, I glance apprehensively at the other two to see that their reaction to this place is the same as mine, and out of the corner of my eye, I watch Renee disappear through the right archway. Right about here is where I choose to acknowledge something peculiar I had realized earlier, we weren't at a club –this place is like a freaking estate and it is beyond beautiful.

"So, you guys finally decided to grace us with your presence and join us?" Alice asks as she reappears through the left archway, giggling. Jasper is blushing, I notice.

"Uh, Alice?" I interject. Her dancing eyes land on me, urging me to go on. "Where's the bathroom?" Jasper and Emmett round on me, glaring. "Well, excuse me for each time nature calls," I whisper furiously at them and glare, making sure Alice can't hear.

"Thank you for deciding to join us," Rosalie's seductive voice purrs and Emmett perks up while I try to ignore her and mouth the word 'bathroom' to Alice.

"Sure Edward," she says and flutters her hand over her shoulder in the general direction of where she'd just come from. Nodding, I thank her and disappear as the four of them continue laughing and talking without me.

The first thing I notice as I round the archway is that I've entered a magnificent living room, well lit, with a wall to wall and floor to ceiling window with a view of the lake, and decorated with royal blues and accents of turquoise, while the walls are painted the lightest shade of grey I've ever seen and the furniture is all mahogany and glass. Everything about this room shouts class and money, needless to say, but there's something humble about it that lets me appreciate it without feeling out of place. The next thing I notice is, there are quite a few doors… and finding the bathroom just got a little more complicated than I would have liked.

Groaning inwardly, I take in the rest of the room and purposefully walk toward a semi hidden door I see near the entertainment center, which has a surround sound system to be envied and might as well be labeled a movie theater by its own right.

Taking a deep breath as I reach the door with its own little archway, I close my eyes, turn the doorknob, and pray for it to be a bathroom and not someone's bedroom.

"Well, well, well… who do we have here?" I hear a feminine voice 'seductively' purr as I push the door forward and readily ignore it. Peeking through my closed lids, as the door swings open smoothly, I breathe a sigh of relief –it is a bathroom! Thank you God… Entering and quickly closing the door behind me, I almost panic as the owner of that horrible voice tries to follow me in. Shuddering at the thought, I blindly search for the light switch along the wall, flick it once I find it, and stop breathing at the sight before me.

Like everything else I have seen in this place so far, this bathroom is amazing, huge, and not a half bathroom, like I originally thought it would be. There's actually both, a bathtub that looks more like a pool and a frosted glass-encased shower, with intricate designs on it, which fade to clear glass at the average height of the shoulders. It has a color schema of ox red with accents of powder and pale blue and steel –there's also a flat screen HDTV of about fourteen inches positioned on the wall opposite the commode!

Striding over to the sink, which is ingrained effortlessly and at a convenient, average height onto the wall beside the commode, and confirming that it is made of fine glass, I stare at it in awe. Even above it there's this mosaic type of granite in a composition of the same ox red and powder blue with added tones of silver and rose gold, also ingrained to the wall. On its surface, there's an elegant, ornate soap dispenser for useful decoration and hand towels available.

Taking a step back from the sink, fascinated, I glance up and stare at my reflection in the mirror, which I notice runs from wall to wall and bordered with intricate and delicate designs fashioned out of contorted steel –it is beautiful, as well. Feeling like I might need a wake up call, I suck in a breath and step back up to the sink with the intention of splashing my face with some water.

Never seeing anything like it before, almost afraid to touch it, I tentatively push on the single water valve and watch as warm water starts pouring out over this steel plate canal and cascades onto the crystal sink bellow, instantly steaming up the bluish glass. Shaking my head and pushing my amazement to the side for the time being, I splash my face with the warm water and almost instantly, begin to feel better. Though, my heart is another matter since it continues to beat its frantic staccato and strangely enough, I'm growing accustomed to it.

_Well, that can't be healthy…_

Now that I am all refreshed, I turn my attention to the TV with every intention of checking it out. Since I have stayed in the bathroom for longer than I had originally intended and is probably necessary and no one, as of yet, is coming to look for me, I see no problem with it. Walking over to the TV, I find its remote unassumingly placed next to it on its own plastic casing made just for it. After a moment's hesitation, I take it in hand, point it, and turn on the TV –and as I had expected, it is picture perfect and the sound coming off those little speakers is unreal.

Feeling slightly guilty, I talk myself into facing the mob outside this heaven of a bathroom and turn of the TV five minutes later, resigned.

_Slowly_, I open the door…

Next thing I know, someone grabs me from behind, I can't see anything, again, because someone is covering my eyes with a blindfold for once and I am being dragged somewhere else against my will. Apparently, I am being kidnapped (Ednapped) for the second time this evening. I sigh. Knowing better than to struggle, I accept what is happening willingly, if with an immeasurable sense of dread, and sag in my captors hold.

A moment later, I hear a door opening and lots of giggling as I feel myself, I suppose, being pushed through the recently opened door. As the door closes behind me with a final click of the lock sounding loudly in my ears, like a sentencing knell, the blindfold falls from my eyes, and I have to blink several times, before I can actually see anything in the dimness of the room I've been thrust into.

The first thing I observe is that I have been locked into some kind of pantry and a huge one at that. Second thing I notice, my heartbeat has gone from staccato to legato in overtime and its beat is buzzing loudly in my ears. Lastly, as I hear someone breathing behind me and catch movement out of the corner of my eye, I realize I am not in here alone.

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_**A/N: **__Okay, don't hate me… I know I said this was going to be a Two Part short story, but I decided to take my time with it and keep things interesting. Therefore, sorry for the 'cliffhanger' (not really) and thank you for reading… Third Part coming soon! __**Read + Review = Teaser **__and__** Faster Updates!**_


	3. EDNAPPED Part, III

**EDNAPPED**

_[Part, III]_

…

As I turn to try and see if I have to protect myself, or whatever, my heart stops beating altogether at the sight of the woman before me, for one glorious moment. And then, my impetuous heart starts backup again in such a volatile rhythm that I am afraid she might hear it and mock me. Blinking excessively, I stare at her and try to come up with a befitting attribute to describe her because she is –_beautiful_? No, the word beautiful doesn't do this woman justice, because she is something more... Someone _sublime_.

The more I take in the sight of her, the more I think she must be a figment of my imagination… and I feel myself tremble as I properly admire her. This sublime creature is wearing a charcoal grey 'V' neck sweater with sleeves that stop just over her elbows and hugged her breasts in an attractive and appealing manner, before becoming loose just bellow the bust line.

Meanwhile, her undershirt is a cobalt blue that contrasts exquisitely and perfectly with both the charcoal grey of her sweater and the ivory parlor of her skin, hidden bellow those layers of clothing that I am beginning to think are unnecessary for someone like her. Next, my eyes travel the length of her body and my eyes hungrily catch a silver of ivory skin above the waistband of her navy blue skinny jeans, which outline her every curve and the firmness of her long legs, drawing out her form as they disappear into grey combat boots.

Gulping as I fail and try to swallow, my Adam's apple bobs excessively along my throat as I brace myself and taking in the sleekness of her mahogany locks, seek out this sublime creature's eyes. The moment our eyes meet, a clash of doe chocolate brown eyes to jade-green, I find myself exclaiming expletives under my breath as silently as possible, when I witness a charming blush taint her high cheeks on her heart shaped visage –and right then, I know my heart can't take any more mete and is about to give out on me.

Then, when I think my heart is sure to burst, she opens her sanguine cherub mouth and I am honored the opportunity of listening to her ethereal voice, a voice that in its impossibility convinces me it cannot belong to a mere mortal.

"Um, do you have any idea as to what's going on?" she asks sheepishly of me, her gaze utterly abashed as she clears her throat and averts her eyes from mine.

Instantly, my heart falls pass my navel and splatters at my feet. Have I offended her somehow, with all my blatant staring? Or is it that she finds the sight of me unappealing? I seriously hope not… Because, honestly, it would be just my luck that she would end up being the first woman not to throw herself at me…

_Agh! _I sound like a pompous jackass too full of himself and a madman! Now my thoughts are so full of myself that I'm even wishing for someone, such a sublime woman, to throw herself at my feet? What is wrong with you, Edward Anthony Masen?

"No, actually, I was about to ask you the same question," I say and my heart stops for the second time in her presence as she lifts up her head and fixes her chocolate eyes on mine at the sound of my dusty voice.

"Oh," she says simply, looking only slightly disappointed, and then, smirks with a knowing smile as her eyes appraise me for signs of the truth behind my words.

"Yeah… so…"

Now that I think about it, I've always been of the opinion that women look pathetic when they try to act coy or smirk, but that smirk on her… looks too damn sexy. Momentarily breathless, I try to breathe in raggedly and let out a quivering breath. For her own good, she shouldn't smirk like that around me. Especially in this lightly lit, enclosed space, I mentally add, and I think I feel myself beginning to hyperventilate.

She smiles widely at me, which I return with an uncertain crooked smile of my own, before inhaling sharply, opens her mouth, and startling me the bejeezus out of me, suddenly bellows, "Mary Alice Brandon, if you do not open this door _this _instant, you'll be in so much trouble you won't know what's coming to you, young lady!"

Muffled laughter from the other side of the door meets her outburst and as I watch the glorious sight of the woman before me with her cheeks all flushed, her eyes wide and luminous with barely restrained anger, I can't help but think that she looks even sexier when angry.

"Sorry, Bella, but no can do," Rose singsongs from the other side of the door, snickering.

"You see, Swan, right now we're playing a little game, yourself included, in which a person has to kiss whomever they're trapped with…" Alice, ever so helpful, chimes in, "it's a bit like seven minutes in heaven, I suppose!"

My heart pauses and picks up its pace at the mention of this sublime woman's name and that's when it hits me; I now know her name! Her name is _Bella_! How befitting for such a creature to –wait a damned minute, did Alice say _kiss_? Is Alice trying to get me killed on the very first night we've met?

Looking at Bella, to see what her reaction to this outrageous new piece of information might be, I see that her eyes have gone as wide as mine and that we are both furiously flushed and that she's been looking at me all along.

"Alice," Bella _growls_ through clenched teeth as she averts her gaze from mine. And, yeah, I think I just got turned on… "You _listen_ to me _right now _and _open_ this _damn_ _door_."

"I already told you, Bella, darling," Alice chirps, "_no can do_."

There's more laughter and suddenly, I get the feeling that Jasper and Emmett are also behind this plot to make my –to make Bella uncomfortable as I hear their quiet but rougher laughter reach my ears. "No kiss, no freedom," Rosalie adds helpfully, chuckling darkly.

Bella rounds on me and I'm almost afraid to look at her, thinking that she's about to start screaming at me for being stuck in here with her, but since I can't help myself, I do meet her eyes and see that she's just offering me an apologetic smile. That look, wrenches my heart in the process and melts it.

That's when I realize that despite the fact that my heart is still beating an unhealthy tempo, it no longer aches… And that's about the same time that something else crazy occurs to me. Only Bella and her nearness can make the pain in my heart go away, it's the only explanation. Therefore, only she should have the right to adhere to my wish, and right now, I'm wishing she were holding my heart. However, for something like that ever coming to fruition, I have to do something to spear Bella this total humiliation.

"Jasper, Emmett," I say sternly. There's total silence on the other end. "I know you two are out there and are listening, so don't even try the silent treatment and hurry up and open this door."

Bella is looking at me like she's wishing me good luck, her gaze filled with sympathy but no conviction, or faith, for that matter. I grimace. Still, there is silence and then…

"You heard the ladies, Edward, we can't do that," stupid Jasper replies. Suddenly, I feel like a total jackass because his words make me feel aggravated and beyond elated at the same time. "You just need to kiss the lady you are with," he adds airily, "and then, you'll be free."

"Simple as that, Eddie," interjects Emmett, ever the optimist.

Now, it's my turn to look at Bella apologetically. "_Sorry_," I mouth but she just shrugs and runs her fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck. "Emmett," I hiss at the door and kick it, ready to try any other methods that we haven't tried yet.

"Oh, my," sighs Alice, dramatically, "looks like you two might have to stay in there all night."

To my horror and elation, I can just hear the distinct sound of their retrieving footsteps. Bella pushes me to the side and presses her ear to the door and listens, her eyes growing wider and wider with the realization of their retreat. As charming and ideal as the notion of being trapped in here all night with Bella might seem, I don't want to play any part in this little sick game Alice, Rosalie, and my boys have orchestrated. Especially when I know that it makes Bella uncomfortable. And not when I have the nagging suspicion that I might be the one that makes her feel the most discomfort.

"Alice!" Bella tries again, sounding defeated and muttering something that sounds suspiciously like 'I can't believe I'm locked in within my own home' with a lot of expletives in between, while banging her head against the door repeatedly.

"I'm sorry," I interrupt, incredulous, "did you just say that this is _your home_?"

Lifting her head from the door and massaging her forehead, Bella glances over her shoulder at me, looking sheepish due to her behavior. Once our eyes meet, I feel the air change as she looks across and with a slow nod Bella allows a small and playful smile to spread over her lips, curving them invitingly. "Yes, Edward," out loud, she answers, "this is my home."

God, now I can die happily. Just the sound of her voice and the sight of her lips uttering and forming my name do wander to my internal organs –just listen to my heart! It should have stopped working a long while ago and yet, here it is, beating erratically and trying to jump out of my chest. Somehow, it beats for her… it is as in awe with her as I am.

"Bathroom… TV…" Bella nods patiently. "Sink… here…" I hear myself mumbling incoherently and fumbling along as if from afar.

As I listen to my voice and realize that I'm nowhere near making sense, horror seizes my heart and I know I've done it now. Any remote chance I ever had with Bella, I just flushed down then the metaphorical drain with my awestruck nonsense. Surely, Bella now thinks I'm an idiot.

However, as I start to inwardly panic, picturing many different scenarios in which Bella wants nothing to do with me and tells me something or other than ends up in her telling me to keep away from her, I hear something unexpected and glorious. Like a whip, my head lifts up and I stare at Bella, watching her with her head thrown back against the back of the door as her charming laughter fills the pantry.

The sound of Bella's laughter is like the ripple of an ancient song that must have been played long ago on a harp during nights of euphoria, and it quickly fills me, becoming my favorite sound in the world. Laughing along with her, I quickly decide that I love the sound of our laughter harmonizing.

A few moments later, we are still laughing and by then, we are laughing so hard that we are on the floor and gasping for breath with merry tears glistening down the corners of our eyes. It had been such a long time since the last time I laughed this hard, that I can't remember when I had. Looking at Bella, I shuffle a little closer to her and instinctively, my hand moves, fingers outstretched, to catch a single merry dangling from her flushed cheek.

My breath hitches as my fingertips make contact with her ivory skin, sending a wave of warmth up my arm and through the rest of my body to gather somewhere bellow my navel. _Before this moment, I never knew such warmth existed. _Obviously, my laughter died down the moment Bella's warmth started flaring within me and so does Bella's as I switch my gaze from her cheek and my fingertips to her eyes. Though I try, I fail to understand and grasp at the emotions passing through the chocolate windows to her soul.

"Edward," breathes Bella, bringing my attention to her lips. They are full, sanguine, and inviting. Never have I seen a pair of lips more inviting and beckoning than Bella's as they part and form my name, as if praying for my lips to meet hers.

"Bella." As I utter her name, my voice doesn't sound like my own. Somehow, it is huskier and dustier than usual. My eyes travel momentarily from her lips to her eyes as if asking silently for permission and I feel myself being drawn to Bella as if by invisible fingertips pulling at strings.

A fraction of a second later, I am but a hair's breadth away from my lips engaging Bella's in a dance as old as time itself and I pause, watching as Bella's eyelids flutter shut with surrender, while a blush tints her ivory skin, and she too begins to lean in as if I have the same pull on her that she has on me –a final invitation.

Our lips finally touching, caressing, brushing, parting, molding together, my heart goes from systole to diastole to asytole and I know nirvana. Because that is what kissing Bella is like… _idyllic_. Soon after, my heart contracts as Bella's lips part and the sensation is like a cardiac massage, and my heart goes volatile, speeding up to a frenetic rhythm.

Then, nirvana and everything idyllic about our tender kiss shatters as Bella ignites the embers of passion with a swipe of her tongue against my parted upper lip and desire for more and more and more... blooms and takes a hold of us. For a hot-white moment, I know insanity and I know that Bella is the poison and the antidote to this madness as long as I keep exploring her mouth and the warmth of her flushed, ivory skin.

Suddenly, this pantry is like a combustion chamber and I feel like I am about to instantaneously combust as my fingers tangle in Bella's mahogany locks and she draws my bottom lip into her mouth as she tugs at it with her teeth, a sweet and slow torture. Hence, I hear myself groan against her mouth and grabbing Bella by her waist, I pull her into my lap. Readily, she complies and straddles my hips, tugging at my hair as her kisses turn hot and crazy…

With a shudder, I feel her lips leave my mouth and she's placing kisses along my jaw line, my five o'clock shadow bristling against her swollen lips. Meanwhile, I'm trying to catch my breath as my hands blindly try to find that silver of ivory skin I had spied earlier and the moment my fingertips makes contact with the dimples on the small of Bella's back, my palm follows.

Bella shivers above me then, a slight sound between a sigh and a moan escapes her parting lips as she throws her head back, and all I see is her neck, arching invitingly. Inevitably, I kiss the column of her throat with an openmouthed kiss and Bella places a hand on my shoulder as the fingers on her other hand tangle in my copper hair to keep me close, while I explore the contours of her throat to her protruding collarbones. Lastly, I kiss the hollow between her collarbones before I seek out her mouth again.

As I make the torturous ascent to Bella's mouth, she catches my heated, jade-green gaze with her chocolate bedroom eyes and she smiles seductively with her lips swollen and red from our kisses. Momentarily, I forget how to breathe and placing both palms on either side of my face, Bella brings her mouth to mine and she teaches me how again as we trade breaths and unspoken promises. Assurances of a tomorrow and a future are uttered in every moan, sigh, grunt, and swivel of hips against hips…

Until, the need for oxygen puts a stop to our kissing but not the inferno of our moment of passion as we hold each other close and breath each other's air with our eyes closed, our cheeks flushed, and our foreheads pressed together. Stuttering after stuttering breath later, our breathing returns to normal and I open my eyes to see Bella opening hers and watching me.

As we stare at each other, the moment isn't as awkward as I thought it would be, considering that I just made out and groped a stranger. In fact, it is a comfortable and companionable moment that lasts for a brief moment. But in that singular moment, I understand everything that Bella isn't saying and she understands everything I am not.

And then, the door to the pantry was pulled open and four heads with devilish smirks were looking in with very smug and satisfied looks on their faces.

"What do you think?" begins Jasper.

"The kissed?" finishes Emmett. Bella flushes. I hold her closer, trying to comfort her and hid the undeniable evidence between my thighs that attests to just how well we kissed.

"Hmmm…" says Rosalie and Bella and I scowl at her, but she continues, saying, "Rumpled clothing, chaotic hair, smeared lip gloss, boy wearing said smeared lip gloss…"

Feeling my ears redden, I wipe at my lips, trying to remove Bella's lip gloss and she assists me, giggling slightly as she blushes a brighter shade of red.

"Flushed faces," adds Alice and Bella groans. "Bella sitting on Edward's lap…"

"We get the picture Alice!" Bella hisses but there's no real anger there and I smirk up at her, and glad that she's still straddling my hips, I give hers a little squeeze. Bella squirms, giving me an admonishing look. I pout lightly just as–

"I say the kissed," the four of them say, their tone sage and their faces totally satisfied.

"Okay, yeah, we kissed," I sigh dramatically.

"Happy now?" Bella finishes for me.

"Very!" chirps Alice.

"That was a rhetorical question, Alice," Bella mutters and Alice blushes, while the rest of us laugh.

"Well, you guys can come out if you want," says Rosalie, smirking so wide it must hurt.

Bella makes to stand but I hold onto her hips, keeping her in place and she looks at me questionably. Ears growing hotter and redder by the second, I avert my eyes from her face to stare at my hands on her hips. "Edward," Bella whispers after a moment of my being too quiet and placing two fingers under my chin, tilts my head up to look at me. "Talk to me?" she beseeches.

Taking in a shuddering breath, I let it out and nod. Apparently, Bella will continue to let me experience many firsts… and being nervous around a woman is definitely a first for me. "Merry me?" I ask and Bella's eyes widen and so do mine as I blush furiously. "I– I," I stutter and Bella giggles, soothing me. "What I meant to say is," I say, clearing my throat and continue, "Will you do me the honor of, please, going out with me?"

Bella bites her bottom lip and I have to avert my eyes before she distracts me, choosing to content with her twinkling, chocolate eyes, I wait nervously for her response. Thankfully and mercifully, she puts me out of my misery quickly.

"What exactly are your intensions, Mr. Edward?" she asks seductively and I gape.

"Cullen," I whisper.

"Well, Mr. Cullen?" she asks again, raising a brow. "What are your intentions with Miss Swan?"

"To ravish you?" I answer and though I meant for the words to be cocky, they come out uncertain.

"Are you _asking _me or letting me _know_?" she asks flirtatiously.

I gulp. "I want to know you and I want to marry you," I confess and I see the amusement leave Bella's eyes, but not the glint of mirth.

"Well," she begins, "luckily for you, Edward Cullen, I like when a man knows what he wants."

"Is that a yes?" I breathe.

"Only if you promise to make an honest woman out of me," she wagers.

"I'll try my damnedest," I vow.

And that is how I met my wife and the love of my life and with her help I got back at Emmett and Jasper for kidnapping me over the years, slowly… torturously. Let's just say, I got the better end of that sticky end.

Signing out, Edward Anthony Cullen –the wife is calling.

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_**A/N: **So this is the end to this short story, thank you for reading, I hope you guys liked it! Pleas Review! I would love to know your thoughts about the story._


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